somewhere over the rainbow;

Sunday, March 20, 2005

FAN!

i dont knoW. i am very FAN!!! FAN!!! i wake up very early in the morning although i manage to get into sleep at very late and i dont know why? i could not sleep well last night and i dont know why, my mind keep thinking about why i say such things. i say that if you dont like me then treat me as yiwen bahx. i mean i dont know why! just have a feeling that she dont really treat me as her best pal while i treat her as? i dont understand myself and also her at the same time. ARGH!! she choose to be mute for the life? i dont know. if she choose to be mute for her life , i think we wont talk to each other for life, aniway she dont really want to talk to me at times? i hurt her at times? but doesnt mean she dont hurt me? i dont understand why? The better u treat your frends and they will also de chun jing chi? i dont know! in the morning she say she doesnt want to talk and i leave her alone for the whole day? i wanted to call her up and ask her why but after thinking, i decided not to because she say she dont want talk mean that she dont want to speak to me as well. never mind lo. aiya! i dont know la, i really dont know! Sometimes when i fan over something she tend to say something that she dont really wish to concern liddat. i remember once i forgot to bring my EL file then i was like die die! i forgot bring my EL file, how how? Then she say, aiya mei you guan xi de la, ni zhe zhong ren gai ma de lo, ren jia geng ni jiang mei shi jiu mei shi LA! i mean i wass HURT by that words just that i dont say it out! in the other words issit that she mean i am FAN? i think so bahx! wadd the point of friend saying u liddat? wont u all get hurt becos of tt? haix! MB I sensitive or wadd! Then everytime i wanna go up early or what she DONT want, i mean suan liao! Then still got one time yi chang yi he with my frend! WAD SHE TREAT ME AS AT THAT POINT OF TIME! am i invisible? ya! mb to her! suan liao! she keep on toking to her then still tok about hu going where? i mean i was ANGRY! wont u be angry if the person ish U! i think u wont understand! ARGH! wadd u treat mi as!!!! Then i really cant take it then i go up myself! suan le! i dont really know what else can i do le? i admit i have mood swings! SERIOUS mood swing LO! but she dont have ma? i dont understand! i have wonderful memories with her but does all of them gone because of me! i dont know! Then whenever i got ani problems to tell her i dont think she want to know bahx! MB i should have fan her or wadd. haix, next time i got problem de hua zi ji gao shu zi ji bahx! REN YI SHI FENG PING LANG JING, TUI YI BU HAI GUO TIAN KONG? issit mean that u oways ren me? haix? issit? does it mean that i dont ren? so u mean i am that kind of want win dont want lose de ar? if liddat den u think wadd will i think? if liddat de hua next time u dont ren mi le lo in case u very XING KU! that wadd u meant by hai bu yao rang ta zhi dao.. fou zhe ni hui si de hen chan. i mean i will scold u like HELL when i know i am reading le? suan le. Then since i make ur life so miserable de hua, i dont think u should treat me as your frend bahx cos i dont want ani of my frend life be miserable. haix, wo mei xing qing zai xie xia qu le. neither i think she will read nor understand.

when i say i love you ; i really do (:
---------------------------------------------

only illusions;

8:15 AM